Brain washing ? Taking out the trash sound better ?

I HAD A VISION , OR SHOULD I CALL IT AN AWAKENING,,,

I had never let myself Dream , nor read fiction . I have always been a TRUTH seeker. You know, reality stuff. It’s so weird even as I type , I’m seeing more and more things that make so much sense to me NOW.

Ok ,let me try to put it in words. I see that ,not seeing visions and not dreamingkept me in the REALITY of WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS HAPPENING & NOT WHAT COULD HAPPEN !! Thats a mouthful of LIGHT , right there….. but why now ? WHY DO I SEE NOW, I HAVE NOT ,BECAUSE I DREAMED NOT !!! ,,,MAYBE ITS AND AGE THING, OR MAYBE  WISDOM,!! Nothing in the past ever really changed because I let my mind REPEAT EVENTS OVER AND OVER AND OVER,,,

BUT WHY????

SOMEWHAT,  I FEEL I HAD TO REPEAT WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE SO THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS LIKE I WAS GOOD AND BAD .. don’t get me wrong i still think the world needs to know my story , yet I don’t even like telling it anymore ,, and truthfully all the old anxiety attached with my past rushes in  which creates conflict in my mind. which is WRONG ! PERIOD!…. so. what do you do? ,,,

YOU CHANGE CHANNELS ,,,,

Yep , Just like on TV ..   WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT OUR WHOLE LIVES THAT WE MUST ENDURE OUR HARDSHIPS ,,,, WE MUST NOT HOLD ON TO ANGER AND RESENTMENTS. (well that’s what I was told and or taught)…. but yet no one realises that the very words that are to comfort  can be held on to so tight that they become our very own `existence`.…. Everything we allow ourselves toidentify with ,Becomes OUR REALITY,,,

So, let me try to say it like this ……                                                                                                                   In Today’s world (NOW), Tv shows get popularity. Then more people watch. Then more people start to relate with or feel that’s what they want or  want to be like and though its on TV  it’s supposed reality . If  its a reality show and it’s on TV , IT MUST BE OK TO LIVE LIKE THAT … OR ACCEPT WHAT YOU SEE ON TV AS OKAY( what everyone wants ,is seeking , is trying live like) ,,, 

SOMEHOW( these things are purposely exposed and hand picked by other people we don’t know at all and don’t even know if we like those people that are choosing what’s best for us as a whole on tv much less do we even know what their true agenda is ) WE HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED  BY  THINGS WE  EVEN DOWN RIGHT HATE………

OK SO  NOW THE LIGHT IS ON ……

IT’S TIME TO FOCUS ON “MY OWN DREAMS “, 

WHAT DO I WANT ? JUST ME ! NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE, JUST ME.!                             Can i  tell you this FEELS FOREIGN , uneasy , untrue , unattainable  ONLY BECAUSE OF THE WIRING  SHALL WE SAY, THAT WAS  INSTALLED IN MY BRAIN & burned into my SUBCONSCIOUS mind and yes even our BODY .

Basically What I was taught  !  

What i seen in the world & in my home and all around me  and that was on tv & what others would talk about ,what  even was preached and taught to us was                      “THIS IS WHAT’S BEST FOR US”  This is the American way  . everything that was seen and or heard and FELT. Lets not forget that the FEELINGS  that are attached to those visions and words are just as profound as the very picture or words and sometimes more important , especially trying to dump those old files.

I BELIEVED THE WORLD AND NOT MY OWN GUT,  MY OWN INNER FORCE……

ah  but here comes the Light !!!

ITS TIME TO CLEAN OUT THE MIND ,,                                                                                                         Time to dump all those old files and the  old feelings attached to the MEMORY too….. 

 IT’S TIME TO SEEK (hello,sound familiar ?) WHAT IT IS  ” I ”  DESIRE AND WANT TO BE IN MY EXISTENCE …. WHAT IS IT “I ” WANT TO SEE HAPPEN OR BE CREATED & UNFOLD IN MY LIFE.

I NEED TO DREAM MORE .

DAYDREAMING TO ME , USED TO SCARE ME IT MEANT I WAS HAVING ANOTHER SEIZURE OR ABOUT TO.. i WANT TO REMEMBER MY DREAMS NOW ,                BEFORE IT MEANT RELIVING MY PAST NIGHTMARES AND WHAT I FEARED…           I JUST WANDER IF ANYONE GETS THIS…. OH HECK ,I DO ,, THE MORE I DO THE MORE I WILL TRY TO SHARE . WHY? BECAUSE WE WLL HAVE BEEN SUCKED INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S BELIEFS….. IN SOMETHING ….AND OR JUST ACCEPTED IT TO BE THE TRUTH ….. TRUTHFULLY MY MIND WAS A BATTLEFIELD AND EVERY WHERE I TURNED WERE MORE OBSTACLES TO CAREFULLY STEP THROUGH BECAUSE I FEARED SOMETHING ELSE WOULD HAPPEN… AND BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT AWAY .IT DID…… EVEN IN MY MIND IT WANTS TO FIGHT ME ,,, SAYING WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HERE ??? I KNOW I HAVE TO SEEK OUT EVERYTHING RIGHTEOUS , GOOD , AWESOME ,BEAUTIFUL ,, IN MY HEART AND MY MIND FIRST……. YOU GET THAT ,,, INSIDE FIRST,,,,, THEN MY EYES WILL SEEK IT ON THE OUTSIDE,,, IT WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE PROGRAMMED TO LOOK FOR THESE THINGS MY MIND HAS BEEN SEEING , WHAT I HAVE ALLOWED MY BRAIN TO THINK ON ……..

ALL I CAN SAY IS, I’M OFF TO GO LOOK FOR SOME AWESOME THINGS IN MY MIND SO THAT I CAN SEE THEM WHEN I OPEN MY EYES ,,, ( i hope you are too!)

THIS TAKES PRACTICE,PRACTICE PRACTICE ,,,, IF YOU BEEN NEGATIVE OR SEEN UGLY ALL YOUR LIFE ,, IT WILL FEEL WEIRD , IT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY , YOUR EMOTIONS WILL FIGHT YOU ,,, BUT LIKE ANY HABIT YOU MUST DO IT EVERY DAY …….(if you are seriously seeking relief from old feelings and visions and thoughts )

SEE I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE THINKING ,,,, OH HELL THAT’S WHAT THEY CALL MEDITATION!!!! LOL

YES, BUT TO SOME , THAT DO NOT ACCEPT MEDITATION AS A LIFESTYLE OR WHATEVER (some believe or are taught it is an occult) ,,,SOME MAY JUST SEE IT AS PRAYING , WITHOUT WORDS , VISIONING MAYBE ?,

TO BE HONEST I WANT TO CALL IT “ERASING THE PAST”  AS IF IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!,,,, JUST FOR NOW ,  UNTIL GOOD HABITS ARE FORMED.

“BRAINWASHING ”  HAHA ….                                                                                                                     THAT’S WHAT I’LL CALL IT ……

A CLEANSING OF THE MIND ,,,                                                                                                                     SOME MIGHT EVEN CALL IT BAPTISM,,,

I LOVE IT,,

BRAIN- WASHING …… IT’S A GOOD THING !!!

OH WAIT i MAY WANT TO RENAME THIS ,, IT’S MORE OF A CONSCIOUS CLEANING ISN’T IT ?