Poetry to Lifes pupose..

You were born to play all through life .you were born to die one day.Its a gift to Live life the Happpiest you can be…while your here counting down the years..First to get older thento try to stop the hands on your clocks…woa is it to you who dont make the BEST of your life…Anywhere any age any how you are the only one who can make you smile.Smile back at you in the mirror.

Love yourself ..then your enemies will be easy..Love is in the Air you breathe ..exhale life all around you..Create like your Creator …One another.hand in hand …Your never Alone….Unless you choose too be. While your at it ‘Living LIFE on Purpose ‘ purposely give back the blessings…what goes around comes around…. A Grateful Heart is Happy on Purpose …It is a ‘choice’ to make a concience and aware decision….To be the Best …The purpose of your life leaves an imprint on someones life..what will your memories stamp on anothrs heart…..we all get someone to Love in life …come and goe all through the years …passing back and forth a Love you bear with xnother….you footsteps make and leave a imprint that one will follow…a child a lost soul..it comes to you in your final moments ..you. WERE BORN TO LEAVE A MEMORY…

Your purpose in Life is to s haxrvce your love.to fall many times to get the answer correctly….thats Life..thats Loving the learning this magnificant world has to offer….make the an easy path to follow if you truly desire to lead others….Grateful is Grateful does amongst each other ….yet sure one will bleed..A. Bleeding heart will mourn for Life ….And willl continue to Give ..Give while you Live ….Love as you can daily in your mirror……LOVING YOU …YEARNS FOR MY HEART FOR ITS WIDE OPEN….WE CAN CHOOSE TO LIVE.DIE OR. I CAN LOVE OR DIE OF A UNLOVED HEART….CRYING OUT FROM EMPTINESS …EMPTY ONLY BECAUSE WE CHOSE TO LET ANOTHER TAKE  LIFE . LOVE .THE  BLESSINGS. WE SHOULD BE CONTINUING TO GIVE .OUR LOVE AWAY CONTINUALLY ….LIKE WATER IS TO THIS PLANET..ALWAYS MOVING AND CHANGING ITS EXCISTANCE…LOVE CANIT BE CONTAINED OR IT BECOMES STAGNIT..POISON TO YOUR VEINS….

 LET GO OF THOSE REINS MOVE WITH THE FLOW OF LIFE AS IT IS GIVEN…AS YOU RECIEVE YOUR DAILY BLESSINGS..YOU HAVE MASTERED YOUR TRUE PURPOSE IN LIFE…….GOD .LOVE.GIVE.RECIEVE YOUR LIFES BLESSINGS

I Bless each of you. Whom crosss my PathπŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸ™πŸ’˜πŸ’ŽπŸ’“πŸ’‹πŸ’­

My Life Changed Dramaticaly in a Blink of an Eye…

Excuse me while I take a trip down pitty party lane..Only because I remember some things and may not later…
If only I had Others to stand by me with my back injury in 96.

Idiots stocked steps on a 5 inch cable that was holding a refridgeration unit in place. The stairs were used to reach the top of the building off a scapula that would not reach the top. while watching my nephew fly forward, scared for him, I stepped up with left leg not realising what was happening. The stairs rocked backwards. I have no Idea how I was able to throw myself forward only to go for a massive ride twisting and turning all the while completely loaded down with toolbelt full of my tools and two buckets of more tools and screws and such approx 50lbs each. It was a dance with death I believe. I was not going out like that.

As I maneuvered across the damp rubber roof somehow I had finally stopped completely scared to death on the very edge of the root again litterally facing where I came up and going back off.. I glanced up to see if anyone was watching and hopefully near to grab me because within God knows how long I knew I was about to go off the edge of this roof for a second and final time.

I only remember seeing my foreman looking across at me with a look of assurance he knew I was done for. Β  Β  Β I cannot tell you what held me in place on the very edge of the rubber moist roof, bent over fully loaded facing death. It was an undeniable complete miracle.
I only ‘think, it was my nephew Jerry that peeled my hands off the two buckets ..no wait I remember one was my drill in case.I think… Yet I cannot tell you what happened in the next few moments or how I even moved from the edge. Though Im sure it was back to work as usual for I was a woman the only woman on that roof and my pride had got the best of me. I know the next thing I remember is us trying to move 500lbs maybe more of coping cap across the roof on a dolly. Rickymy foreman, Jerry,my nephew and I.

I remember saying there was no way I was coming off that roof until the job was finished. We finished it litterally by moonlight. I remember getting my groove down drilling and rolling, drilling and rolling, because I hurt so bad yet I would not quit I loved my job and we had just come back from Jacksonville Nc at the base while Storm ‘Fran’ had come through. I had just recieved a dollar raise for stepping up into foreman position leadership over Aproximately 32 men at the coast.

Over the years what seems like almost yesterday in my mind. I have been through mad hell trying to get my back back. I have been dissed as scam as oh thats what you get for being a woman from doctor after doctor. I think it was 3 months before anyone took me seriously about the pain. I was in 3 months of pure hell. Actually the first day after the accident i woke up completely numb from the waste down..I was so scared my mate had actually slapped me to bring me back to reality..My daughter was asleep in the other room..My little girl had experienced with me this hell and is now a becoming a nurse she works at the hospital …i trutufully dont kniw how she does it especially after dealing with me all these years. I PRAY she becomes a doctor ine day.

My daughter was litteraly my everything. She cooked she cleaned she did everything because her momma got hurt and couldn’t walk couldnt sleep to be honest my life ended but I could not give up I was a momma..I could not just give up because if my daughter in only second grade could do all she was doing then I was gonna fight too even harder.
I m going to stop here this was hard enough .Remembering an accident that should of been avoided in the first place..But the hell And fight for the last 20 years to even today is my everyday life. The roofing company won like always they hv more money and to this day I fight to keep things in order on a daily basis dependent on pain relief just to hv any kind of life is only a fraction of hell I have been through with medical.The drugs the misdiagnosing has taken the last 20 years of my life.My marriage family friends. The drugs destroyed me ..3 years ago i said no more after heart failure and lime disease and h1n1 flu and absolutely no one left I tried my hardest to lay down and give up I had taken over 100 somas . I was sooo mad and hurt confused.Seizures and one medical disaster after another my kids were tired of it .I didnt blame them .In a blink of an eye I can go from 10 to 0 hit the floorc.or yell in agony hv a siezure to screaming and hollering in pure frustration…why in Gods name to God save me from that fall.why? I dont quit I guess. Somehow some way I keep on going.I hit th bottom and start crawling back. Im shocked at myself I keep crawling though now alone still trying to remember where i left off.Just living the best I can . Lifting others up and trying so hard to get my message out there NOT TO GIVE UP . Β SOME STRUGGLE HARDER THEN OTHERS…WHY? BECAUSE SOME WERE BORN WARRIORS….bitch moan complain.scream holler get drunk screw up..cry scream apologise forgive .forget ..none of it matters at all if YOU ARE DEAD…..

It gets easier when you let go of expectations..It gets easier when you just take it at your own pace. Maybe Im alone because I truthfully do not want anyone to see me suffer anymore. Im tired of explaining whats going on Im tired of the fake concern just so I can boost others egos and beg scream cry and plead for help and absolutely no one comes..At this point in my life I cannot remember things.yet when the memories come I want to write them down or talk about them hoping to retain some memories and hopefully strengthen my mind. I would live to go to school ..yea right I cant remember to take my meds everyday same time and that pisses me off

 

And so this I will probally forget I wrote too but maybe just maybe Ill remember when I can get help from someone to fight for what you call i think social security..disability.15 years I begged my husband to help me…yea no keep house sit pretty and leave him alone..Yep and when you dont he puts you in pure hell knowing that you are dependent on him .HE made damn sure of that..until he finally found or shall i say they found him at work her a sugar daddy for her babies..YEA once the kids were grown and gone his paycheck lowered no more write offs..im not going there I loved my husband more then he loved me.Just another big lesson in life i guess..Is what it is… However I truly pray there is a life after this one and I hope i can take these lessons with me.BECAUSE I AINT GETTING BACK WHAT I LOST THE DAY I GOT INJURED AT WORK …..

 

I didnt want to grow up being a tomboy I was forced too.. Now thats another story

Now Im off to get some bc powders and Luve Life On Purpose !

Nobody’ is searching and fighting for her Wings

Trying to find my way back to me..It has been some really harsh reality raining in. Im praying that if I slowly keep stepping out of my comfort zone there Ill find the rest of the pieces of me that has been scattered.tattered.some lost.some purposely burried.

 Standing up for myself is and has never been easy because of that scared lil girl still hiding always hopefull the war would be over and once again safe to play.safe to love.safe to be me.

 Pain has a funny way of tripping you up as if your warrior sword is always sharpened and always close. And ready for battle.

  Ah but the true Battle is deep with in that others only kicked up the dirt that scarcely has hidden.

 Any and all pain we hide or refuse to give up only because of the fear of starting world war 3 within and all around keeps us silently already in our readymade coffins and already chosen burrial grounds.

 Fear is the master planner the seargent in arms. Fear wears the battlescars proudly and guards diligently to protect the others hidden and scattered abroud the heart .body.mind.and soul.

 Each year I have chosen to stand up to fear many times just a simple glimpse in the mirror is all it took to back down into my comfort zone.

 Each time I felt myself loosing a part of me forever admitting I had been wounded way to deep the scars aline would need be surgically removed just to deal with the actual wound.

 The many battles I fought I never gave myself credit for surviving actually I had done just the opposite. I let the battle dictate ..I WAS NEVER FIGHTING AGAIN.

  GIVING UP THE WILL TO FIGHT LITTERALLY WAS THE KEY TO MY HAVEN OR MY HELL.

  Though I hate violence I had given up my WILL…

  MY WILL TO LIVE .MY WILL TO LOVE.MY WILL TO STAND UP AND BE SEEN OR HEARD.AFTER ALL I NEVER GOT NO REWARDS.OR CROWNS OR TROPHIES .INSTEAD. I WAS GIVEN the CROWN of FEAR of CONFUSION. Of SHAME.

 By the very people I loved Most….I WAS IN CHARGE NOW..NO ONE WOULD DARE HURT ME AGAIN.

  I LAUGH AT THIS NOW BECAUSE LIKE A MIRROR DISTORTING THE TRUTH I ONLY HAD TO WALK LIKE.TALK LIKE..DRESS LIKE A HERO…AND NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW THE TRUTH.
  SO HERE I AM PULLING OUT EVERY PIECE OF SCRAP OF PAIN THAT I CAN TO FREE MY MYSELF ONCE AND FOR ALL..TO BE VULNERABLE ENOUGH TO LOVE AGAIN. LOVE ALL OF ME.. IT’S NOT EASY AND IT DAMN SURE ISN’T HAPPENING THE WAY I EXPECT. BUT AT LEAST ITS HAPPENING IM JUST CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT WILL BE LEFT…

NOBODY WILL BE SOMEBODY AND HOPEFULLY ILL BE BLESSED WITH A NEW NAME..HOPEFULLY SOMETHING LIKE ANGEL THAT WILL DEPEND ON GOD…THIS GIRL IS FIGHTING THE WARS INSIDE ONCE AGAIN ..

 THE WARS THAT NOONE KNOWS ABOUT .NO ONE TALKS ABOUT .NO ONE WANTS TO REMEMBER AND WANT TO FORGET.

 BUT IF IM NOT WILLING TO FIGHT FOR ME .HOW COULD I POSSIBLY ASK ANYONE ELSE …LOVE AND WAR GO HAND IN HAND. GETTING REAL WITH THE TRUTH WILL ARE YOUR SOUL AND LEAVE YOU TO BE PARCHED BY THE BLAZING SUN. BUT IF YOU LOVE YOU ARE WILLING TO HANG ON AN OPEN TREE THAT KINDA LOVE IS WHAT WE ALL SEEK BUT FEAR HAS CONFUSED OUR SOULS .TAUGHT US TO LIE AND HIDE……

I CHOSE TO BARE MY SOUL FOR ALL TO SEE ..SO THAT I COULD NO LONGER HIDE BEHIND ME..
  NOW EACH TIME THE BATTLE SCARS CRY. THEY RUN RAMID AND FREE.I LET THEM ONLY TO WATCH SILENTLY WHAT IT IS THEY ARE TRYING TO HIDE AND KEEP SECRETLY..

 NOW THIS IS MY WAY AND CAUTIOUSLY I FLY ALONE BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN DEATH IS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR I KNOW HE IS WAITING FOR ME AT THE HEAD OF MY TOMBSTONE..

 I HAVE A CHOICE..TO TRY MY BEST AND FAIL OVER AND OVER AGAIN…OR I QUIT .I THROW DOWN ALL MY WEAPONS OF LIFE AND COURAGE AND I GIVE IN TO HIM…..I WANT MY ANGEL WINGS SO THAT WHEN ITS MY TURN TO TRADE FOR A NEW BODY. ILL GET TO FLY BY HEAVEN TO GET A QUICK GLIMPSE OF WHAT ALL THIS LIFE I LIVED WAS ALL ABOUT !

Music lifeline from Heaven….

I sure needed this tonight.God knows.My pain he knows my fears.he knows i cant share..or ill be another he lies in a pity party. God knows I refused to be labeled again.to be torn down for something I am not and for being lifted up for that which I do not see nor agree..I just want to be Me.I want to be loved and accepted just like all the rest. I want to be heard for the things I choose to share.God knows my accomplishments mean nothing to anyone but me. Yet he also knows Im the first to be happy and congradulate others for thier success not for attention do I praise but from the heart its so good to hear.It makes Hopes and dreams stay alive and know that dreams can come true. Music touches the heart where no one dares to go .wgere no one wants to talk about and where no one can even know the pain that is carried the lonely cross we bare music is like heaven lufeline to our soul …Copywrite TammyLynnWhitaker 

Dont let pain make all the decissions

Went down hard knees this time .just pure fire..though i did get out of bed and go watch my grandsons ball game my mouth & whistle work great..I gotta say Im so proud of him.. I got to hug my daughters neck finaly I was tickled to watch her chase around her kids babgirl cousin while as usual lil Conner sees me coming just smiles real big and hollers Go To Bubba gma Go to Bubba..meaning go watch his brother play ball he was heading over to the playground with Aunt Dee.

  Though they list the game it was an awesome game for lil league. My grandsonson hit 2 hone runs and caught a couple pop flies but still fumbles on ground balls. 

 I decided to drive to thier house for a few so Cj asked if he coud ride with me. I have to be very careful because we really get into some serious conversations like forts and where a good place to make one. I really enjoy sharing my stories from my youth he gets so tickled. Kids at his age 9 years old while trying so hard to grow up so fast they should be creating thier own ideas after learning from the stories they read.

 Corey and and Conner and now soon to be #3(hopefully a girl) are blessed. Thier daddys mom is a teacher and director of parks and recreation and her sister is also a teacher. And me Im a big kid at heart and I like to call myself an Artist though they love to do art with me and play video games and what ever else I can so that day. Im not as fun because they are told to becareful so many times. Grandmas hurting is what I here . It hurts to hear that though yes the boys are rough but I want to be remembered for more then just she always sick or in pain…

  Reality sucks I come to terms with each new pain. Each new symptom yes i even shut down the workd til I can get a grip on it. Then slowly I return. With a big smile (Grateful i can) and so happy to see all thier faces again. When I offer to help in any way I can they refuse it and call the guy down the street instead. Though he is not related him and his wife dont have grandchildren and are now pretty clise friends to my kuds .They shower the kuds with gifts and are just a block away. So know im not mad actually Im very grateful but you could say Im a little jealous especially when Im passed up like a bad meal and they headed for the dessert. I laugh even saying that because who wouldn’t truthfully.

 So heres to all the Great days and yes to the bad days still to come.Im alive and Im still kicking lifes but with a smile on my face and in my heart holding the tears back from anyone seeing the pain.

  Isnt that another learned cliche’ never let them see you cry!?!..well heres my thoughts on that ..Bull narky! Only dont make it about you when its really about celebrating with those you love. Its ok to be honest and tell them your hurting and fighting something just so they understand . your not jumping up and down and being 100 percent yourself.

 Its the little things that count….Little memories to recount another time layer in life..The Joys and Blessings you purposely make the time for when you could of opted out of.

  Make YES decisions..You will e Thankful you did..

 Dont let PAIN take everything ..only you can decided..Yes you can….

Reliving what you thought you would never again

Please forgive me i didnt edit. Today i dont feel like it..πŸ˜˜πŸ˜–πŸ‘Ό

​I think ive shocked my spine hurts from waste down .been in bed 2 days i guess.i hv to find away to get to store.crackers aint getting it and my lil blender died..asked to borrow my daughters yea thats not happening im sure Corey through it away like he does anythung that gets in his way or means nothing to him..

Im so ready to find a room mate .thw silence is deafning when your hurting and don.t want to be turned down for help..maybe i will try the pool just to force myself out and not be a pitty party baby .but i know it will be full im sure of all the wild crazy disrespectful no law peeps if u know what i mean..STOMACH BURNS FROM ASPRIN AND WATER ..JUST NOT WHERE THE FUCK I WANT TO BE .. OVER DONE IT AND FOR NO REASON WASNT WANTED AT BALL GAME ANYWAYS THIER BEST FRIENDS WERE THER..YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD JUST QUIT..I THINK I DID..BUT YOU KNOW HOW YOUR A SUCKER FOR YOUR KIDS.AND GKIDS..

I HAVE DEFINATELY LEARNED ..NO ONE GIVES ASHIT ABOUT YOU IF YOU AINT GIVING THEM .AND THEY DAMN SURE DONT THINK ABOUT YOU THEY KEEP THIER WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE SO WHEN SOMEONE DISAGREES THEY CAN SAY FUCK THEM…YEA SEEMS LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD HAS BECOME THIS WAY..BUT UNFORTUNATELY NOT ME..BUT I KNOW THAT SPLIT IN MY HEART AND MIND WILL EVENTUALLY FINISH TEARING…THE DAY I DONT CARE AND NOT JUST SAYING IT TO RELIEVE THE PAIN .THAT DAY WILL BE A UNKNOWN LONESOME FEELING SO IM GUESSING IT WILL FEEL NO DIFFERENT.. Just got to not Give up.not really..just say it feel it for a while the anger can be freeing..sleep it off if you can ..Pray for Gods intervention!

I KNOW THERES FIGHT IN ME THE FIGHT MOST HAVE NEVER NOR WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE..THE NAME CALLING WELL ITS OLD .IM LIKE COMEUP WITH SOMETHING NEW…BUT IF YOUR TRYING TO BREAK MY SPIRIT WELL THAT WAS BROKE YEARS AGO.I LIVE ON GODS NOT MY OWN SO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT TOO…

 NOTHING REALLY GETS EASIER WITH AGE AND HEALTH AND PAIN WE JUST BECOME CALLOUSED AND NUMBED BY THE CONTINUAL BUT TRUTHFULLY IT ALWAYS KINDA SHOCKS YOU BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THIS GOAL HAS BEEN PASSED .UNTIL SOMEONE SNEAKS IN WITH THE SAME SPEAR THEY USED BEFORE TO TRY TO BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES..BUT WHY..THERE I GO THINKING AGAIN ..WHY IN GODS NAME WOUKD SOMEONE YOU LOVE SO DEARLY WANT TO HURT YOU SO BAD?…I NOW KNOW…BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES NEED TO FEEL SUPERIOR .TO FEEL THEY ARE NOT YOU.TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES THEY ARE NOT BROKEN OR WEAK .LIKE THE WAY THEY SEE YOU..WHEN TRUTHFULLY THOUGH IN A NEW GENERATION ..THE OLD RERINGS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN .

RESPECT is not how much money or power you think you have ,it starts with self respect

I GOT THROUGH MY TREADMILL EXERCISE EVEN GOT IN 20 MIN MORE VERY SLOW , i GUESS BECAUSE OF DIFFERENT SHOES OOPS CAPS DERN IT ,, SORRY ,,i also realised wearing ankle socks was cutting off the circulation as my ankles would swell,, good thinking whammy,,,
so I decided to rush out and watch my gson play ball ,, Im very upset the treatment I recieved over and over ,, about left as soon as i got there,
I called my daughter several times to see what time the game was , finally after i got there i got a response , and said I was already there, I was not greeted by coreys family like all the rest of their clan , , I blew it off walked away because as sson as my daughter arrived she seems up set i am there and early at that ,, no this aint in my head , , she walked away her and the baby, I tried to make mall talk always avoiding any conversation with my opinion , because in that crowd Im dismissed as a nobody ,, DOn’t really care i only go to the functions for my grandkids anyways and or to help my daughter any way i can ,,
later I walked over to the other side where the parents of the team were sitting to help cheer on the team ,, ah This I know im good at , and usually the kids get a big kick out of it ,, Yet the only one that completely ignored me was my gson ,, his cousin spoke and was being silly like always , I just blew it off his dad was helping coach .. WHat had got me it was late and the parents in the stand and my self were encouraging the kids its close to the game to be over and you could tell they were tired,, its now after dark the score is pretty much tied back and forth. The next inning was called short all the kids were really ready for it to be over with ,, I’m hollering look alive others are yelling you got this keep eye on the ball etcetera,, I holler because i know i can be heard to out field , look alive guys wakey wakey ,, act like its the beginning and not the end , things like this ,, next thing i know i’m yelled at by my son in law ,, we don’t need no more coaches ,,, hold up i’m a fan not a coach , i’m a parent , and wow was the looks and stares unbearable , a couple of them laughed ,, yes i was shamed ,, all the sudden my youngest grandson grabs me by the leg , awe perfect timing , i walked away with him after a few moments of me introducing him to the couple lil kids there ,, He finally wanted to go play ,, Now here’s the other kicker ,, when the kids friends ie call them their other grandparents that flood them with gifts and affection , i don’t dare because i am told no and what and when to do and where we can go and how far and most things i’ve ever bought were trashed or literally junked ,, and grant it very expensive things i wont get into , I just right it off , but as this couple walks up while the baby and i were playing off he goes to be with them leaving me there at the play area.. but when they are tired he is sent over to me ,, I don’t know about you all , but its the little things that count either good or bad , and the disrespect has been happening all over again ,,, I’ve been blamed for them not having enough tables for bday party because my daughter loaned me one to paint on a long time ago and i personally had no idea , after all they used a door on stand , so i’m very confused there because no one ever said anything ,,, I work my ass off to help and i yes use up all my meds so i can , ad all for what ,, to be told to go home two days ago when i stopped by to hang out and hopefully conversate with my daughter just her and i and of course the baby ,, no instead their friend has my grandson down the road and she in a foul mood ,, i asked if she minded i lay by the pool a few moments , her knowing i cant be in son too long because of this rash i have been having ,,so i peacefully blessed her , and left .
I had taken quite a few of my paint things i assumed she needed for her bathroom make over like my lrg paint basket clamp light and plastic unused ,, but when I asked where it was i don’t fucking know was the answer i got ,,
the disrespect is back again , and over my dead body am i gonna sit there and take it from any of them ,, like my gson dropping his drawers and telling me to kiss his ass,, when i ask his parents to deal with it ,,i’m the bad guy ,,i’m told just leave him the fuck alone ,,, ok ,,so i don’t know about the rest of this word , but with the hate and disrespect running rampant at this age ,,Please God take me as far away as possible ,, before i snap and slap the literal crap out of someone ,
Between others younger then i getting to do say reject my grndsons and are always at their house because their kids are gay and will never have kids ,oh and they are their party buddies well they got mine ,, and i’m second fiddle ..
Ima fight broke out well not fight but argument between teams and the umps and coaches and the lady that runs it , they are ranting and raving as if this game was life or death ,, it made me sick ,, i turned and walked off and turned my head and said out loud ,,,q way to go parents what a great example your teaching these tired and confused kids ,, the other side , the one doing all the main fussing , was like ma’am ma’am its the principles ,,,, guess what i kept shaking my head and said yea another bad example to children ,, and drove home ,, im thinking from now on im will watch from a very far distance with binoculars ,,,
Β 
my gosh they are only 7 and 8 years old and you wander why they cant control themselves , or fear so much ,,,because parents are becoming bullies again.
Teach a child the way he should go let him make his mistakes but by example he will know when you are not around ….
yea that was back in the day ,,, now its all about me ,, me , me , me , iIll take being shamed by you now but when no one else is around i will correct your behavior ,, after all its about you and i right , and if you bring a gang to the fight you just proved to me you know you were in the wrong ,, and if you turn it on me , another clue is YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG , BUT YOUR HEAD IS SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WONT SEE THE WORLD AROUND YOU NOR YOUR OWN HOME COLLAPSE ,,, OH AND IT WILL ,,, IN TIME IT WILL