IT’S CALLED AGING !!!

I really do wish I could keep up like everyone else , I feel like I have let so many down..Yea it Me ,tell it like it is , but a heart of gold , So much I want to do and join in , but its so hard just to keep up on me ,, Is that a bad thing , I guess probably not for most , after all I am in training trying to take care of me first ,, but truthfully it is so foreign , Its hard ,I actually have to pretend I am doing for someone else , sike myself out ,,,,With my health seemingly failing , including my vision teeth bones , I have to say looks are deceiving esp some days , some days i look 10 to15 yrs older ,,,
 
IT’S CALLED AGING !!
Its definitely a learning curve,unlike my injury years ago . Aging just sneaks on in, you cant help but wander though , what the heck next,, then some days its like um damn i feel GOOOD,,lol I have also learned that so much determines how we feel ,and especially after 50. Heck I thought having a monthly was hell ,, oh no when you stop producing all those things in your body that kept it young vibrant and well lubricated ,, like joints and moisture in your eyes and hair skin , yea nails ,now that is not even a joke . Your skin thins and your allergic to stuff you have never been allergic to , and thats not only because of the foods being contaminated , its also your body doesnt produce even the propper enzimes to break down the food and get it in the cells…. oh la la la di da,, right ! The Point is we all look back and wish we had taken better care of ourselves, and as we age we worry about it more , yet some have fallen apart so rapidly its pure hell catching back up.
So listen up , if your reading this and aint fighting to keep up with your own self , kudos ,, but please be patient with others because eventually you too will be battling , age , memory or health or something that is very hard to comprehend or keep up with yourselves ,unless you die before that time.
I think aging is not like it used to be thought of , I sure saw my parents health go down , but my grand parents ,well they just didnt seem to age in my eyes until 70’s, I really think its because of the microwave erra,,, We want it all right NOW,, No resting ,,Taking supplements to keep up with the job , home, family , friends, hobbies,, but i don’t understand it all.
I truly wish we could take what we know now and say go back to the 60s and try again ,,,but that’s wishful thinking , I think our generation and if there’s a next , is dying to soon way to soon, and my own personal opinion is because ,we are not governed by ourselves but by society , keeping up with the jones mentality,, no core family values , and no morals , all work no play ,, dont like it f off , walk out , society, no one held accountable , because not many are in the home as a loving nurturing example of parenting,,Parenting is dictatorship, and the children are only doing as they SEE… AND THEN CRITICISED FOR DOING IT THEMSELVES , AND ITS ALL THEY KNOW ,
When will we stop fighting each other and start leaning on each other as communities and villages ..Taking care of our own ? No instead its a THROW AWAY WORLD..
SO here’s something to ponder.. is it better to have dementia and be lost in your own mind by yourself , or have all your wits yet be so broken down and tossed to the side , to sit and wait for someone to help you go to the bathroom or open a can of food for you ,, Beg for a little help yet your family has no time for you , the kids mock you and avoid you like the plague , because video games and tv and getting rich is more important than another family member’s life !!!!
 
So you know I love to get you thinking,,I see so many kids no adults have family members broken down and right there close to them and if the parents are lucky they might get a phone call if they’re over 70 and home alone ,,,,are you kidding me !!!!!! They sit at their friends house all day long cooking and playing and partying , while mom ,dad , are sitting in the same spot they were this morning…
I don’t know about you BUT ILL TAKE DEMENTIA ANY DAY!!
just remember ONE DAY , YOU TOO WILL FACE THAT WHAT YOUR PARENTS ARE ,, ITS CALLED AGING !!

HOW DO WE LEARN? HOW ARE WE TAUGHT?

IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO LEARN ….
i HAVE FOUND SO MANY MANY PEOPLES PAGES ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM,,THEY AGREE WITH YOU ONLY TO BE ABLE TO SPLASH THEIR HATE IN BETWEEN THEIR POST NOW THAT YOUR FRIENDS ,, PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHO YOU AD TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST,,REMEMBER THE CLICHE’ WOLVES IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING, I MYSELF HAVE BEEN FOOLED SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE I DO WANT TO BE AN EXAMPLE NOT ALL TALK BUT EXAMPLE OF DOING AND GETTING THROUGH THE BATTLES THAT WE MAY HAVE IN COMMON. I TRY TO BE AS VULNERABLE AS I CAN BE IN HOPES TO BRING OUT THE VULNERABILITIES OF OTHERS SO THAT FEAR IS NOT AN ACTION BUT MERELY A THOUGHT , FOR I HAVE SEVERE PTSD. AND ANXIETIES THAT COME IN A FLASH , THAT I EVEN FORGET WHAT I WAS DOING AT THAT MOMENT,, THE MOST UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE I KNOW ARE CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY DO NOT JUDGE THEY ARE EAGER TO HELP AND LOVE YOU BACK TO YOURSELF.
CHILDREN CALL IT AS THEY SEE IT AND SO MANY ARE YELLED AT ,, DON’T SAY THAT , WHEN IT’S ONLY THE TRUTH AS THEY SEE IT ,, THEY ARE WHIPPED INTO THINKING THEY SHOULD HOLD BACK SPEAKING AGAINST HATE THEY SEE, ITS SO UNFAIR TO THEIR LITTLE MINDS , WHEN THEY ARE SHAPED TO BELIEVE BEING UGLY IS A SECRET NO ONE WANTS REVEALED , THEY ARE TAUGHT SHAME , THEY ARE MOLDED INTO ADULT THINKING AND TAKES AWAY THEIR INNOCENCE. THEY ARE TYPICALLY DOPED UP TO KEEP THEIR THOUGHTS AT BAY, NOT KNOWING HOW TO REALLY THINK FOR THEMSELVES OR ARE MOLDED TO THINK THEIR THOUGHTS ARE WRONG AND THEREFORE THEIR IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEMSELVES , WHILE ALL ALONG IT WAS THOSE WHO WERE THEIR EXAMPLES IN LIFE WERE WRONG YET REFUSE TO LOOK DEEP WITHIN THEMSELVES BEFORE CORRECTING WHAT THEY REACT TOO BY THE CHILD,,,, CHILDREN ARE OUR EXAMPLES OF INNOCENCE AND lOVE BUT WE CONTINUALLY SHAME THEM FOR BEING JUST THAT ,, HONEST AND INNOCENT .. OUR PLACE IS TO TEACH THEM TO CONTROL THEMSELVES AND TO SORT THROUGH THEIR OWN EMOTIONS , NOT TO TELL THEM WHAT TO THINK , ASK THEM IF THEY KNOW BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG , ASK THEM WHY THEY THINK THAT AWAY AND TEACH THEM TO THINK HOW THEY CAN SEARCH FOR INNER TRUTHS ,, IF YOU TELL SOMEONE LONG ENOUGH TO SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN ,, TRUST ME THEY WILL NEVER WANT TO STAND UP NOR SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES LATER IN LIFE… YET IF YOU LET THEM ACT OUT IN ANGER AND NEVER TEACH THEM TO SIT IN SILENCE HOW WILL THEY EVER LEARN TO CALM THEMSELVES WITHOUT AN CRUTCH .WE CONSTANTLY INFLICT OUR CHILDREN WITH OUR OWN BIASED OPINIONS NOT LETTING THEM SEARCH FOR THEIR OWN ,, THEY ONLY KNOW AND ACT ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU YOURSELF HAVE TAUGHT THEM EVEN WHEN YOU DIDN’T MEAN FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND ,, MEMORIES SERVE THEM SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD , THIS IS WHAT MY MOM OR DAD WOULD DO ,, BUT THEY HAVE KNOW TRUTH IN THEIR OWN IDENTITY,, IT IS SHAPED BY EVERYTHING THAT IS PLACED INTO MEMORIES,,AND THEN YOU WONDER WHERE YOU WENT WRONG,,,,,IF YOU SHOVE THEM IN FRONT OF A TV OR A VIDEO GAME ,INSTEAD OF TAKING THE TIME TO LET THEM SEARCH THROUGH WHAT THEY HAVE SEEN HEARD OR TAUGHT EVEN ELSEWHERE ,, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY THINK YOU ARE RIGHT , WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS TRULY IN THEIR MINDS,,,, UNTIL ONE DAY IT’S TOO LATE.
EVERYONE WANTS TO BE HEAD YET THEY FAIL TO RULE THEMSELVES,,,EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE RIGHT YET THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN NOR HEARD THE WHOLE STORY OR EVEN BOTH SIDES ,,,ITS BECAUSE WE ALL WANT A RESOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO TIME , YOU ARE STRESSED AND IN A HURRY , ONLY TO LOOK BACK AND SEE YOU BROUGHT 99 PERCENT OF IT ON YOURSELF, A HAND ME DOWN OF TRADITIONS ……DOES ANYONE THINK FOR THEMSELVES? IT’S OKAY TO DISAGREE , IT’S ALSO OKAY TO LOOK FOR NEW SOLUTIONS YOU MAY NOT BLAME OTHERS  BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK NOW THAT LIGHTS HAVE SHOWN YOU THE FILTH HIDDEN IN THE CORNERS….
Please forgive me , my visions are not so good and no i’m no editor, i’m just hoping to share the things deep within my conscience in hopes to stir others to think for themselves and create who they truly want to be , to face our fears together united we stand but judgement is always alone…
True leaders think for themselves and die alone there is only one heart beating in that shell of yours and only one soul that leaves,, therefore yes you die alone, when the soul leaves your body none can go with you the journey is your own…
 I have found that what i thought and think are curses or tragedy of not doing what i really thought i wanted to do in life has been my biggest Blessings…. to be alone in my own thinking and not a follower of everyone else, leaves me to think for myself , though its not always easy , actually never is , but the battles and lessons are better then anyone could teach me.. I may not have the body the riches of others but i have free will to THINK !!!

HEALTHY OR WEALTHY ?

HEALTH OR WEALTH ??????
 
THROBBING AND BURNING TODAY ,lORD DOES IT GET EASIER OR DO I JUST GET MORE MENTALLY NUMBER.MY HIPS ,KNEES ,ANKLES, MIDDLE BACK ARE JUST ON FIRE. I WAS SICK ON MY STOMACH SICK ALL NIGHT FROM IBUPROFEN , AND I COULD NOT GET WARM LAST NIGHT ,IT TOOK 3 LAYERS OF CLOTHING  & HEATING PAD TOPPED OFF WITH A LARGE MINK BLANKET, THERMOSTAT RAISED 4 DEGREES…SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE !!!I CAN NOT LIVE LIKE A BUMP ON A LOG . I WOULD GO PLUMB CRAZY,,I SURE HOPE AND PRAY TRUMP CAN FIX THE MEDICAL SYSTEM , THOUGH , I’M TERRIFIED OF DOCTORS AND THEM HANDING OUT MEDS LIKE CANDY ,,,SEE RIGHT THERE JUST SHOOK ME TO THE CORE  ..  I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO BEAT THIS WITHOUT DOCTORS  ,FOR NOW.LIKE SUFFER THROUGH IT ,, THOUGH I DON’T LIKE THAT WORD SUFFER ,,,WE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS .LORD WE GONNA FIND A WAY !!! LIKE THE SONG ,, CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON ,, THERE’LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE ,,,,
WHAT REALLY ANNOYS ME IS, I WAS DOING SO WELL, THEN DOWN SICK AND IT TAKES MONTHS TO RECOVER AGAIN AND THEN SPRING ALLERGIES AND MORE SWELLING JOINTS,LOL IM ON A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE , DID I MENTION I HATE ROLLER COASTERS,,,YES HATE IS A STRONG WORD,, BUT I REALLY REALLY DESPISE ROLLERCOASTERS ,, IF I WANT THE SHIT SCARED OUT OF ME THAT BAD , I LL WALK INTO A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD AND SCREAM “EVERYONE FREEZE”,,, HAHHAHA , YEA NOT FUNNY …TRY IT !!LOL,,(AT LEAST IN YOUR MIND) MAKE SURE ONE OF YOUR BUDDIES FROM THERE ARE WITH YOU … SO HERES WHAT iM THINKING ..
 I THINK I GOT TOO MUCH QUIET TIME , TO MUCH ALONE TIME…ONLY A THEORY BECAUSE TOO MUCH STRESS AND LORD HELP ME JESUS, I CANNOT DO THAT EITHER. AS MOST OF YOU KNOW I HAVE A REALLY BAD TEMPER FROM MY YOUNGER DAYS AND NO ONE EVER PUSHES ME TO THAT PLACE ,,NO ONE THAT IS SMART,, COMING FROM THE STREETS I CAN TELL YOU , BEING ON EDGE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IS THE SAME HELL OUR SERVICE MEMBERS LIVE,,,I GUESS YOU CAN SAY THAT’S
WHY I UNDERSTAND THE POOR , THE BLACK , THE BEATEN DOWN SOCIETY AND AM NOT A JUDGEMENTAL PERSON, WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER THEORY OF MINE ….. WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE SO SICK WHY IS IT EVERY SINGLE YEAR WE ARE FIGHTING ANOTHER STRAIN OF VIRUS OR INFECTIONS THAT WE HAVE TO COME UP WITH NEW ANTIBIOTICS TO FIGHT , … BECAUSE WE ALL ARE GUINEA PIGS TO THE WEALTHY…… AH SHUCKS I JUST PISSED SOMEONE OFF ,,,,,, IT’S TRUE ,, I THINK THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD BECAUSE OF THE HEALTH CARE,,, FROM MENTAL , PSYCHOLOGICAL,AND DOWN RIGHT THE QUALITY OF FOOD THAT MOST AMERICANS GET TO EAT IS DOWN RIGHT SCARY……TIMES HAVE CHANGED .. YES WE NEED TO KEEP UP,,, WE NEED MORE SOLUTIONS ,,,WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO COMMUNICATE ,,,,,,,SERIOUSLY HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE RICH RICH FRIENDS THAT PRETEND TO BE POOR AS DIRT,, AND HAVE POOR AS DIRT FRIENDS THAT LIVE LIKE THEY HAVE IT ALL?
I’M GONNA LEAVE THAT ONE ALONE RIGHT NOW, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME,,
    THE POINT IS IF YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOU NEEDED , REALLY, REALLY WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT ,,,I REALLY AM THINKING MORE OF HEALTH THAN WEALTH THESE DAYS , BECAUSE AFTER ALL ,,,YOU CAN BE RICH AND SO SICK ,YET WHAT GOOD COULD YOU DO ??? HAND IT OVER FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU?!   WE CAN’T FORCE PEOPLE TO BETTER BUT WE CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT MORE AVAILABLE ,, CHEAPER BY SIMPLY RAISING THE PRICES ON THE BAD FOODS , SO THEY REALLY ARE TREATS  AND NOT THE MEAL FOR THE DAY.
 i’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU , THESE PEOPLE THAT GET FOOD STAMPS SHOULD BE BLOCKED FROM BUYING JUNK FOOD , IT ONLY CREATES MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS AND KEEPS THEM FURTHER DOWN , FURTHER AWAY FROM LIVING HEALTHY WEALTHY LIVES.  i WONT SAY ITS ALL PEOPLE BUT HAS SOMEONE DONE THE STUDIES ON THIS? oH AND I’M NOT EVEN TRYING TO SAY TAKE AWAY THEIR CIGARETTES AND BEER BECAUSE UNLESS YOU LIVE IN THEIR ENVIRONMENT ,DON’T JUDGE SO QUICKLY, IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY THEY ACTUALLY STAY SANE.. WHAT I MEAN IS CHOICES SHOULD BE THERE FOR THE POOR LIKE IT IS FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS AND THE RICH … IF THE QUICK STOPS CAN CARRY , JUNK FOOD , IT SHOULD BE CARRYING A BROADER SELECTION OF HEALTHIER FOODS AS WELL..
   TRUST ME I KNOW PERSONALLY , I RATHER HAVE A SLIM FAST TWICE A DAY THEN EAT CEREAL OR DONUTS AND CHIPS,I ADD FROZEN BERRIES WHEN I CAN AFFORD THEM,BUT TRUTHFULLY MOST AMERICANS WOULD PROBABLY  BEG FOR THE JUNK FOOD , ME, A SMOOTHIE REPLACES MY SWEET TOOTH.A HALF A BANANA A TABLESPOON OF PEANUT BUTTER MILK A TABLESPOON FAVORITE CREAMER AND ICE ,, AWESOME!!  YEA YEA YEA JUST MY OPINION…
 SO THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS ,,, HOW DO WE HEAL OURSELVES AND MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR OTHERS TO GET HEALTHY AND WEALTHY FOR THEMSELVES ??? THIS I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM THE CHILDREN AND THE POOR AND THE SICK..ALL LIVES MATTER AND WE ALL HAVE CHOICES,BUT DON’T FORGET THE VERY VERY POOR AND THE VIOLENT NEIGHBORHOODS AND THE CONTROL FREAKS IN THIS WORLD . WE CANT PUSH ANYTHING ON PEOPLE BUT GIVING THEM THE OPTIONS FOR BEING HEALTHY I THINK IS WHERE WE SHOULD START FIRST…..

GET OFF THE PIETY TRAIN

I have been nudged in my inner most being . my Soul . My conscience to Paint 1 Painting a month to donate to CHARITY , If it were feasible I would and still may donate all My Paintings to Charity . But DEEP down inside I don’t want to part with them , EACH ONE has very specific meaning to me , a story if you will of what I was absorbing and feeling and learning in that certain time of my life. I also would Love to sell my paintings ,GOD WILLING /Tammy willing lol,, and be able to survive on my own through them … In order to do that I know I must ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT BELIEVE AND SEE, VISUALISE . THIS as being possible. I must be willing to see these things happening , with or with out the fear and judgement of Others……

 

I know with out a doubt that I cannot give all my time and talent away to make others DREAMS come true , and Have TIME to MAKE MY OWN DREAMS A REALITY…….

 

I am SEEING CLEARLY NOW …… What an Amazing thing to see and feel ….To know you are without a doubt Doing…Living ..Being exactly what you want , need and feel and are inspired more and more daily.

 

I am at Peace with myself ,,, and that my friends is absolutely AMAZING IN ITSELF…. and those who know me personally and for years also know How confused and out of sync and feared everyday of my existence for a long stretch of time . because I had no skills I THOUGHT ,I had no Dreams ,,so I thought..I had no Support system , So I thought ,,, I had no Power , so I thought , I had no voice ,So I thought … Do you see where these thoughts took me and held me down ? DO you see in the very words how it took a hold of any Joy ,, I was absolutely Powerless << so I thought , and therefore I brought on everything I experienced myself . My actions were my words ,, my thoughts were on a gerbil wheel and going nowhere…. I’m gonna say it ,thought i appaul the words,, piety.. I ate ,drank ,lived , thought, reacted, emerged into PIETY. i HAD TO GOOGLE THIS WORD FOR YOU AND MYSELF , LOL YES THAT WAS THE RIGHT WORD ,,, SEE

 

pi·e·ty

ˈpīədē/

noun

the quality of being religious or reverent.

“acts of piety and charity”

synonyms: devoutness, devotion, piousness, religion, holiness, godliness, saintliness; More

a belief or point of view that is accepted with unthinking conventional reverence.

plural noun: pieties

“the accepted pieties of our time”

synonyms: devoutness, devotion, piousness, religion, holiness, godliness, saintliness; More

 

 

 

Lets just focus on BEING in the NOW ,, and NOT in WHAT WAS .. NOT IN ASSUMPTION OF WHAT COULD BE IF SO AND SO WOULD JUST LISTEN AND BEND IN MY DIRECTION ,IF ONLY I WERE DIFFERENT , IF ONLY I WAS THIS OR THAT ,,,,

LOL Its so hard for me to even rant in these views they are so destructive…… Im not trying to be cold here but If you are reading this and on the piety party train ,, can I please encourage you .

Give yourself three days on this train ,,,, then get up wash your face and get out , and go wherever it is that you may feel HAPPY ,,, iF you find yourself on this PIETY train again , Repeat,, Get up wash your face and GET OUT ,, go somewhere that you can interact with JOYFUL PEOPLE….. and If you find yourself again on this train of MISERY AND SELF DESTRUCTION ,,,, AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS AVOIDING YOU , AT ALL COST , THEY ARE BUSY , THEY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR MISERY ANY LONGER,,,,,,

I know that may sound harsh , but in reality ,, DO YOU BLAME THEM?????,,

You have now sunk in the deep dark hole of quicksand and although many love you and throw you lifelines to save you from your own destruction ,

THEY HAVE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN TO LIVE ! IF YOU ARE THAT SELFISH ..TO THINK ..THAT THEY OWE YOU ,ANYTHING, BECAUSE YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO BE THERE FOR THEM WHILE THEY MILKED YOU FOR PIETY FOR SO LONG , THEN ITS TIME YOU GET SELF ISH ENOUGH TO BE SELF ISH AND THINK AND DO WHAT IT IS YOU NEED TO DO TO GET YOUR BUTT OFF THAT MISERY TRAIN ,,,, oh and if you cannot get off that train please contact me so I can PISS YOU OFF SOO BAD , THAT YOU WILL WANT TO PROVE ME WRONG WHEN I TELL YOU ,,, YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT ,,, YES I SAID FULL OF SHIT,, DO I NEED TO GOOGLE THAT WORD FOR YOU ,,,,,

 

No seriously if all you do is REPEAT AND REPEAT AND REPEAT AND REPEAT ,, ALL THAT IS UGLY , all that YOU DONT WANT ,, all that has pissed you off ,, all the HORRIBLE things that has happened to you , If you REP((EAT )) the same thoughts and words and actions and people and places and things ,,, You have EATEN ENOUGH MISERY ,, HAVENT YOU ,,, YOU HAVE LIVED FEELING BAD FOR LONG ENOUGH HAVENT YOU ? SO CHANGE YOUR DIET ,,, CHANGE EVERYTHING , ANYTHING EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU THINK OF THE PAST ,,,,

 

It is YOU and ONLY you that is keeping you from JOY and Happiness ,,,, you Have to FACE YOUR FEARS AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT , START WITH YOUR WORDS ,,,,,

start seeking out things that feel uncomfortable ,, its like A new pair of shoes you really like and you buy them and you know they are uncomfortable but you just have to have them ,,, so you do whatever it is you can to alter them to start to feel GOOD , then you realise owwww that they still hurt ,, BUT OH HEY THEY LOOK GOOD ,, so you continue to wear them because they make you feel special , some how these shoes have magic in them , because now you believe when you wear them you get noticed ,,, and now they are your favorite pair of shoes , THOUGH they hurt like hell when you wear them , and you refuse to part with them , until one day you complain to your friend that every time you wear( your favorite pair of shoes ), They really really hurt you ,,, and your Friend tells you , OH SO SIMPLY , JUST A SIMPLE COMMENT , so throw them out ,, not thinking that she just hit a NERVE inside you , because you have built up this enormous amount of faith in these shoes that now give you self esteem so you think that being MISERABLE for the sake of Being noticed and feeling powerful you will be MISERABLE because everyone treats you or responds to you in the Magic shoes ,,,, well Your friend has just offered a SIMPLE SOLUTION to YOUR now PAINFUL PROBLEM ,, and little does she know she has just embarked a journey she had no idea she was getting ready to go,,,, because of all the EMOTIONS AND POWER AND THOUGHTS AND ENERGIES THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN THESE PAIR OF SHOES , THE HAVE BECOME YOUR GOD ….

YOU STILL WITH ME ??? YOU HAVE NO IDEA THAT ALL THAT POWER AND MAGIC THAT YOU HAVE PUT INTO THEM SHOES ALL COME FROM WITHIN YOU ,, YOU ARE THE POWER ,, YOU ARE THE MAGIC you are your own reality that has become that feeling , that confidence in those things you have around you that make you feel secure ,, NO ,,,ONE …THING … OR THINGS HOLD YOUR DESTINY , nor your FUTURE , if you have them or not ..

YOU ARE EVERYTHING YOU FEAR LOOSING ,,, YOU CANNOT LOOSE WHO YOU ARE ,, YOU JUST REPEAT THE SAME ACTIONS AND USE THE SAME WORDS , AND FEEL THE SAME THINGS WHEN YOU ARE IN , AROUND OR SEE THESE THINGS YOU NOW WORSHIP….. YIKES , DOES THAT STRIKE A LOUD CYBLE OF REALITY ?? I CERTAINLY HOPE SO ..

 

Look around you are you seeing things that you feel you cannot part with ?? You feel you would just die if you loose them ,,, now unless they are things like (my PACEMAKER ) haha yea your not gonna die ,,, you are only SCARED you wont have your meaning for LIfe as YOU KNOW IT ,,, THATS ALL… it is comfortable to have these people ,places and things around you ,, but PLEASE GET THIS ……. all that POWER LOVE JOY COMFORT WAS CREATED BY YOU ,,, THE INNER CORE OF YOURSELF ,,, YOUR THE POWER ,, YOUR THE JOY , YOUR THE COMFORT , YOUR THE PEACE, YOUR THE BEAUTY , YOUR THE CONFIDENCE , YOUR THE THE WISDOM , YOUR HOLDING THE KNOWLEDGE , YOOU ARE THE LOVE , THAT YOU SEE IN THOSE SHOES …..

 

SO PLEASE PLEASE , LET GO OF THE TEACHINGS AND CONTINUAL THOUGHTS OF DESTRUCTION AND FAILURE , OF LIFE WILL NOT BE THE SAME WITH OR WITHOUT PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS ,,,, YOU WILL CREATE MORE GOOD FEELINGS , PRODUCE MORE GOOD THINGS , ATTRACT MORE GREAT PEOPLE , YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN , IF YOU WILL LET GO OF ALL THE STOPS OF NEGATIVITY AND THE NEGATIVE PIETY OF THINKING AND THE PITIFUL WORDS AND BEGIN TO SAY WHAT IT IS YOU DESIRE TO HEAR FROM OTHERS ,, AND DO FOR YOURSELF WHAT IT IS YOU TRULY DESIRE OTHERS TO DO FOR YOU ,, ONE MOMENT AT A TIME,,,, BEGIN TO DREAM ,,BY THINKING OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS AND SEEKING OUT BEAUTIFUL , LOVING , STRONG INDEPENDENT PEOPLE THAT NEVER GET ON BOARD WITH YOU AND YOUR PIETY TRAIN .

FACE YOUR FEARS BY BEING , JUST BEING ,,, FEEL WHAT IT IS YOU ARE FEARING ,,, FEEL WHAT IT IS YOUR THINKING AND IF IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE STAY WITH IT A WHILE ,,,IT WILL PASS AND YOU WILL GET OVER IT IF YOU DON’T RUN FROM THAT FEELING ,, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T WANT SO YOU WILL INSPIRE CREATE WHAT YOU DO WANT ,,,

 

Please note that my caps are on here because i want you to see and feel the message i am giving you is so powerful and though yes I guess i could be like everyone else and correct myself or i can be who i am and share with you fully who i am caps and all … I feel that if this message is for you , you will attract it and you will find it or it will find you …( I also am on my laptop and sometimes my vision blurs so I write in caps ) is what it is isn’t it wink wink

 

Look at it for what it is ,, your life is unfolding in such a way , because you forgot how miserable you were and you fear the unknown and therefore seek out answers that no one can give you but yourself…. you have secretly desired or repeating the same thing over and over and over until you spoke it into existence,, haha without your permission it cannot do so,,, yikes ,,,, what the heck did you say ,, I know i pissed you off here , but its true somehow someway you were giving hints to people places and wants desires or fears ,, and they were coming all along like on ants backs ,, so small that you didn’t notice them because you were so dern busy , doing thinking saying , repeating the same things over and over , until you noticed or shall we say your eyes and your conscience EYES were awakened by all the SHIT RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU AROUND YOU SO MUCH SO THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN A SHITTY LIFE , YOUR so full of the shit you were saying , doing , repeating , negative after negative , thoughts and feelings ,, and now all you want to do is say what QUIT ,,, QUIT WHAT ?????

SERIOUSLY !!! what is it you want to quit ???? LIVING?

if you say yes to that , here’s two ways to think about that ,,, you are literally now severely depressed and need assistance in clearing up your visions, clearing a path that is able to walk down safely ,,, or you are down right seeking the same piety you have been feeding yourself for many many years ….. oh my gosh ,, change your diet !!

ok no really , changing your diet might be what you need also , and I can just about bet that if you on the PIETY train ,, your diet sucks too lol,,,

 

TO BE CONTINUED :

 

My mask..

i wear a mask ,  How do I take it off ? So many judge me when I defend myself, because I don’t know how to say I what I need to say ,I cant tell everyone I’m sick because I myself refuse to believe it,Until its ugly head reveals itself again , Like anxiety , like heart failure , life , fight or flight , like asthma , Life brain injury , like severe daily pain and buzzing in my spine and severe pain in my hip , Like the seizures and dizzyness and vertigo ringing in my ears , like the teeth that are deteriating asnd the spine and joints that hurt sometimes so bad zI just dont know what to do with myd=self . I dont want to be sick i want to be like everyone else ,I want to have friends and hang out but i can only do it in little pieces at a time , Im always exsausted always in pain , i wear my mask well by masking it all with medicines,but then I get so excited i forget to take my meds i forget to exercise i forget to eat and drink ,, i have memory problems too,, how do you tell everyone that and keep friends?   you dont ! its just that simple , you cant complain you cant say whats really going on because then your complaining, then your in a pity party , and no one wants to hear it!

alone is how you do it ,, you shut the world out and you do the best you can . one foot in front of the other . you set your house up your meds up just exsactly the way you need it so you can remember all you need to remember  and even then you forget some things ..

what’s so sad is everyone thinks your being a bitch , when you start feeling bad that playtime and visiting needs to end , everyone points out how messed up you are and points out your flawas or they take you wrong and start acting as if you have done someething wrong for defending your health and your balance you need to have just to live a somewhat normal life, It can become so confusing and un balanced that all involved become to feel like shit ,, its not fair its not right , but whats worse is I will either get so angry at myself for not being able to make myself clear , or I pity others over myself , that in turn causes me to mess things up even further ….

i refuse to feel guilty for what someone else feels because I make myself very clear in the beginning , so they themselves are responsible for thier own feelings ,, Everyone is battling something and we all are looking for positivity joy and happiness to be around, what zi dont understand is how others can be so selfish at times that they would attack you when you are doing your very very best . your best at sharing your home and everything in it to make others feel completely at home and be so damn tired you still cant get your message across to others that you need your space , your home  your time  for a little while to save your life your health your mind, no I dont feel sorry for thier feelings getting hurt …

It sucks to be suick , it sucks to be me sometimes but i am so very grateful for my life , my family and friends and roof over my heard and what little food i do eat , Im so very grateful for being able to still read and write and learn ,, it means Im still alive and Living my Life on Purpose ,,,,

YOUR ARE A GIFT,KEEP GIVING YOUR GIFT AWAY

I HAVE TO SAY THIS ! IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO LOVE YOURSELF . NOR LOVE THOSE NEIGHBORS RIGHT THERE ACROSS THE STREET THAT ARE IN YOUR FACE , DO NOT DARE TELL ME YOU ARE READY FOR LEADERSHIP, WE CANNOT LIVE IN THE BUBBLE OF FACEBOOK AND THINK WE ARE NOW BETTER THEN THOSE AROUND US BECAUSE OUR NUMBERS ARE HIGH, BE THE LOVE ! BE THE HOPE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE . YOU MUST FACE YOUR FEARS AND HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND REMEMBER ALL LIVES MATTER, THAT ARROGANCE AND HATE YOU FEEL FROM A STARE WHEN YOU WALK BY , LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THAT IS . IT IS FEAR . FEAR IS RULING THIS WORLD WE MUST PUT A STOP TO THE FEAR BY SPEAKING UP AND PUSHING DOWN OUR OWN FEARS AND SAYING HELLO , BY SMILING . BY REACHING OUT AND HELPING NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE ON THE DUMMY BOX OR HEAR ON THE NEWS , PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL YOU THESE PEOPLE ARE REACTING IN FEAR . IT IS FEAR OF THE NOT KNOWING IF THEY WILL BE SHOT , FEAR OF NOT KNOWING IF THEY WILL EAT OR BE ABLE TO FEED THEIR OWN , FEAR OF BEING KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOMES , FEAR OF A DRIVE BY SHOOTING , FEAR OF BEING PICKED OUT AS THE BAD GUY BECAUSE THEY LOOK SUSPICIOUS BECAUSE THEY WALK IN FEAR ,,, THAT EVERYONE IS WHAT IS RULING THIS WORLD , IS FEAR !!!!!!!

SO WHEN MAKING YOUR GOALS OUT I CHALLENGE YOU TO THINK OF WAYS TO HELP FIGHT FEAR , AND NOT WITH THE CLICHE` LOVE CONQUERS ALL ……WITH ACTUAL ANSWERS MINE IS THROUGH COMMUNICATION , I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED COMMUNICATION IS THE BEST DEFENCE FOR FEAR YOU DON’T HAVE THE FACTS RIGHT JUST BECAUSE YOU HEARD IT ON THE NEWS OR ON THE TV . YOU ARE BEING LEAD TO BELIEVE THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE EVERYWHERE.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE EVEN DRIVEN THROUGH THE PROJECTS ? THE LOWER INCOME NEIGHBORHOODS?

HOW MANY OF YOU ARE ANGRY ? HOW MANY OF YOU CAN ACTUALLY BE HONEST AND SAY I FEAR SUCH AND SUCH ???

LOOK ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS “YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK QUESTIONS, DON’T WALK THE OTHER WAY ALL THE TIME , BE BOLD AND ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH . BE WILLING TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH NOT WHAT THE TV IS TELLING NOT WHAT YOUR PARENTS TOLD YOU . NOT WHAT YOUR FEARS ARE TELLING YOU …..

I MYSELF CANNOT CHANGE THE WORLD ,AND I’M NOT LOOKING TO START A REVOLUTION BY MYSELF , WHAT I AM , WHO I AM, WHAT I DO , HOW I TREAT OTHERS TELLS YOU WHO I AM , NOT JUST BECAUSE I SAID SO .

I HAVE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TRACKS , I HAVE HAD PLENTY OF MONEY AND I HAVE HAD NONE, AND I CAN TELL YOU WHEN YOU BRING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH YOU RICH OR POOR THEY CONTROL WHAT LIFE YOU WILL ACTUALLY LIVE .

 

SO MY POINT IS THIS , STOP LOOKING TO SEE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF , YOUR VIEWS , YOUR ACTIONS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE TODAY WILL SPEAK LOUDER THEN WHAT YOU EVER IMAGINED. DON’T YOU REALISE PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOU , YOU SAY ONE THING BUT YOU DO ANOTHER ,DON’T YOU REALISE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU !!

IF YOU ARE HIDING INSIDE AND ONLY SPEAKING ON THE COMPUTER AND NOT SPEAKING TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU

THAT MAY SEEM LIKE REALITY , TO MOST I’M SURE IT IS, TO MOST I’M SURE ITS THE ONLY FRIENDS YOU HAVE FOR WHATEVER REASON. BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO THE STORE OR QUICK STOP FOR MILK OR BEER WHATEVER I CHALLENGE YOU TO ACTUALLY LIFT YOUR HEAD UP AND BE IN THE MOMENT AND ACTUALLY SAY HELLO , ACTUALLY SPEAK TO THE PERSON BEHIND YOU , WITH A QUESTION , NOT A STATEMENT BUT A QUESTION AND WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND NO EXPECTATION OF ANY ANSWER BE THE ONE PERSON THAT REACHED OUT EVEN IN FEAR AND SPEAK TO THOSE AROUND YOU AND SMILE , SMILING SETS THE TONE FOR CONVERSATION, BEING GRUMPY TIRED AND HEAD DOWN WHEN YOU GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS NOT EVEN AWARE THAT YOU ARE FROWNING AND BEING GRUMPY , SETS THE MOOD FOR WHAT WILL BE SAID BACK TO YOU WHEN YOU SPEAK…

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE CURIOUS , LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY HUSBAND AND I USE TO DO ….. WE USE TO DRESS UP IN DIFFERENT CLOTHING CRAZY OUTFITS AND HAIR DO’S

AND WE WOULD GO WALK AROUND IN THE MALL IN CLARKSVILLE TENNESSEE JUST TO WATCH PEOPLE AND THEIR REACTIONS,,, IT WAS SO FUN AND A LEARNING EXPERIENCE . THE REACTIONS ALONE FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND DIFFERENT AGES PROVED THAT I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG . THE MORE SOPHISTICATED WE DRESSED UP ,PEOPLE WOULD TREAT US SO DIFFERENT FROM THE CRAZY PURPLE LEOPARD FUR PANTS I WORE AND THE PINK HAIR AND MY HUSBAND’S RED AND BLACK FUR SHIRT AND SPIKE AND PLASTERED STRAIGHT UP HAIR DO GOT US ANOTHER TYPE OF REACTION FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE . FROM THE CLASSIC STARES OF DISAPPROVEMENT FROM THE ELDER LADIES THAT WHISPER AND POINT , TO THE YOUNG KIDS THAT WOULD CIRCLE US AND SWEAR WE WERE SOME ROCK STARS OR FAMOUS PEOPLE , TO JUST DRESSING NORMAL AND GOING BACK JUST A COUPLE HOURS LATER TO SEE THE DIFFERENT REACTIONS (YEA, ME’ I’M NEVER BORED ) .

SEE I LEARNED WAY BACK IN SCHOOL A CLASS I HAD TAKEN CALLED COMMUNICATIONS AND MEDIA, PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS WERE TAUGHT TO ME IN THIS CLASS . i WAS TAUGHT HOW TO ADVERTISE , HOW WHAT PEOPLE SEE AND HOW WE PORTRAY OUR ADVERTISEMENTS TO DIFFERENT AUDIENCES, YET IT TAUGHT ME WAY MORE THEN THAT , IT TAUGHT ME REALITY , IT TAUGHT MY PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN THEMSELVES TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH SO THEY THEMSELVES FEEL BIGGER ,, THEY ATTACH PEOPLE AND THINGS TO THEMSELVES TO LOOK IMPORTANT , THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO ONE UP THEIR FRIENDS OR NEIGHBORS AND JUST DOWN RIGHT STRANGERS , THEY ARE LOOKING FOR THE NEXT BIG THING TO SAVE THEM FROM THEMSELVES . THEY GIVE AWAY THEIR SOULS JUST TO BE CONSIDERED BIGGER OR BETTER OR STRONGER , THEY THINK IT BUYS THEM RESPECT AND THEY WALK AROUND THINK FEELING AND ACTING LIKE THEY ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN OTHERS . WHY BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE WHO THEY ARE , THEY DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE , THEY FEAR , THEY ARE SCARED TO DEATH AND SO THEY ARE LOOKING FOR THE A WAY OUT A WAY UP BECAUSE THEY FEAR THEY WILL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE LIKE OTHERS . THEY ARE TOLD FROM BIRTH GET OVER IT YOU WILL NEVER BE SOMEBODY . WELL I’M HERE TO TELL YOU IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT AWAY. THIS IS WHY SO MANY SELF HELP BOOKS ARE SOLD . BECAUSE EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR THAT ONE SECRET NO ONE ELSE HAS ,,, HERE’S A WAKE UP CALL , HERE I GOT THE SECRET ,,, YOU ARE THE SECRET ,,, NO SHIT ,,, WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE BORN WITH A SPECIAL GIFT AND THAT GIFT WILL EITHER BE DROWNED OUT BY WHAT YOU HEAR OR IT WILL BE YOUR MAGIC, IT MAY APPEAR AFTER TRAUMA , OR YOU MAY KNOW IT AT BIRTH, BUT THE KEY IS HOW DO YOU ACCEPT IT , HOW DO YOU MARKET IT , HOW DO YOU USE IT TO SURVIVE .

OK YOU KNOW THE SECRET IS YOU , OK NOW YOU ARE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE , I HAVE NO SPECIAL TALENTS , CAN’T SING CAN’T DANCE CAN’T PLAY BASKETBALL.

WELL I’M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT NOW THAT YOU KNOW YOU ARE THE SECRET AND IF YOU WILL WATCH YOU , CLOSELY LIKE YOU WOULD A ROCKSTAR OR FAMOUS PERSON I PROMISE YOU YOU WILL SEE YOU WILL FEEL YOU WILL KNOW ,SOMEONE WILL TELL YOU , YOU HAVE A GIFT. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE , AND IF YOU DO NOT GO LOOKING ELSEWHERE TO SEE HOW OTHER ARE DOING THEIR GIFT , YOU WILL FLOURISH THAT GIFT , BUT IF YOU START LOOKING TO SEE IF YOU MATCH UP TO OTHERS , YOU WILL EITHER LOOSE THAT GIFT BY COMPETITION OR YOU WILL SNUFF OUT THOSE THAT WANT OR NEED YOUR GIFT …

BE BOLD AND FEARLESS IN BEING YOURSELF , AND FEARLESS AND BRINGING YOUR GIFT OUT TO THE WORLD OR INTO THE TRENCHES OF HELL IS THE KEY , BUT IF YOU CANNOT BE ALONE FOR 20 MINUTES BY YOURSELF HOW ARE YOU EVEN GONNA KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHERE DO YOU USE IT . DID YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE A GIFT ? YES YOU! YOU ARE A GIFT TO SOMEONE AND SOMEONE WANTS TO BE A GIFT TO YOU. WE ARE TO GIVE OUR GIFT FREELY OH BUT WAIT HOW DO I LIVE ON MY GIFT . BY HAVING FAITH IN YOURSELF IN IN THE UNKNOWN. DO YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A WORLD OUT THERE THAT YOU WILL NEVER VISIT NEVER SEE .YET YOU MAY HAVE EXACTLY WHAT THEY NEED AND IT MAY BE AS SIMPLE AS WRITING YOUR GIFT ON PAPER AND SHARING IT WITH SOMEONE THAT SHARES IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND SO ON AND SO ON , THEN ONE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE YOU WILL BE ASKED TO SHARE THAT GIFT FOR A PRICE .COME ON ,DON’T YOU SEE THE WORLD HAS BEEN DOING IT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF EXISTENCE . THE EARTH DOES IT THE INSECTS DO IT . WE GIVE OF WHO WE ARE , THE BEES POLLINATE THE PLANTS GROW , THE MIND THINKS , THE HEART LOVES , WE EAT WE TRAVEL WE SEEK WE FIND , WE TEACH WE LEARN WE GIVE WE RECEIVE ,, AHHH BUT YOU SAY YOU DON’T RECEIVE,, NO YOU DON’T RECEIVE WHAT YOU EXPECT BECAUSE ITS NOT YOUR GIFT. HELLO JUST BECAUSE JOHN DOE DID IT JUST EXACTLY LIKE SUCH DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL …. WHY BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE A CELL DIFFERENT , WE GREW UP WITH OR WITH OUT SUCH AND SUCH . MY EXISTENCE THOUGH WE WERE RAISED IN THE SAME HOME WILL NOT BE THE EXACT SAME AS YOURS . EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US ARE DIFFERENT SOMEHOW THAT’S OUR GIFT. WE ARE UNIQUE , OK FOR EXAMPLE HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE A GOOD EXAMPLE . SO SAY WE GREW UP IN THE SAME VILLAGE WITH THE SAME PEOPLE WOKE THE SAME ATE THE SAME LIVED PRETTY MUCH THE SAME , BUT I WALKED THROUGH THE BACK DOOR OF THE HOME AND YOU ALWAYS WALKED THROUGH THE FRONT . WHAT I SAW EVERYDAY AND WHAT YOU SAW , WHAT I THOUGHT AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT WAS DIFFERENT THAN YOU . THEREFORE WE HAD DIFFERENT PATHS BY ONE SMALL DIFFERENCE , THEREFORE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE DIFFERENT PATHS , DIFFERENT THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THE DAY , WE MAY WANDER ABOUT DIFFERENT THINGS , I MAY HAVE A VISION PROBLEM THAT I HAD NO IDEA WAS A PROBLEM AT ALL , I AMY HAVE BEEN BIT BY AN INSECT YOU WEREN’T , THAT’S HOW STUPIDLY EASY IT IS TO UNDERSTAND WE ARE DIFFERENT THOUGH THE SAME . SO WHAT AM I GETTING AT ? YOU ARE A GIFT , AND YOU MUST NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW HAVE TO BE WILLING TO ACCEPT THE UNKNOWN AND GIVE YOUR GIFT EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE DOING THE SAME THING AND IT MAY SEEM REDUNDANT AS BREATHING BUT YOU ARE THE GIFT AND YOUR GIFT IS NEEDED NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL YOU TELL YOURSELF IT IS IT IS YOU . GIVE YOU TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND BE WILLING TO ACCEPT THE NO’S AND KEEP ON GIVING . AND IN THE WORLD’S PERFECT TIMING YOU WILL BE EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE MEANT TO BE AT THAT PERFECT TIME .

NEVER EVER JUDGE YOURSELF BY OTHERS , AND STOP JUDGING OTHERS BY WHAT THEY HAVE AND HAVE NOT BECAUSE THEY TO ARE A GIFT TO SOMEONE . WE ALL ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE OTHER , NOT BECAUSE OF FAME AND NOTORIETY , BECAUSE THAT TOO CHANGES LIKE THE WEATHER , AND JUST AS STORMS ARISE FROM NO WHERE AND CANNOT BE EXACTLY PREDICTED , GOD HAS PROVEN HIMSELF TIME AND AGAIN. THINK OF A TSUNAMI THAT ARISES FROM ONE SIDE OF A CONTINENT AND DAMAGES AND WIPES OUT A PLACE TWO CONTINENTS AWAY , SO TOO WE AS AN INDIVIDUAL CAN EFFECT ANOTHER .

SO WHEN YOU SEE OTHERS RISE AND SOMEONE ELSE FALL ALWAYS KNOW YOU TOO CAN RISE , YOU TOO ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT. YOU ARE A GIFT . RESPECT EH OTHER GIFTS AROUND YOU YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE GIFT INSIDE OF THEM BY WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE OR WHAT THEY SMELL LIKE . I CAN PROMISE YOU THIS IF YOU LOOK FOR THE GIFT WITH CURIOSITY EVEN YOUR OWN GIFT YOU WILL BEGIN TO RISE UP INTO YOUR GIFT . MEET THE WORLD WITH JOY JOY YOU WILL FIND , MEET THE WORLD WITH HOPE HOPE YOU WILL FIND , MEET THE WORLD WITH ANGER YOU WILL FIND ANGER, MEET THE WORLD WITH LAUGHTER YOU WILL FIND LAUGHTER BE WILLING TO NOT HAVE THE ANSWERS AND DO IT ANYWAYS ,EVERYDAY YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO UNWRAPPING YOUR GIFT. IF YOU NEVER EVER GIVE UP , YOU MAY EVEN DOUBT FOR A MOMENT BUT AS LONG AS YOU COME BACK WILLING TO SEEK YOU WILL FIND . BUT IF YOU DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU WILL FIND NOTHING. IF YOU GIVE NOTHING HOW DARE YOU ASK FOR SOMETHING . IF YOU ASK FOR NOTHING HOW DARE YOU GET MAD BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE RECEIVED SOMETHING . YOU DO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BUT YOU DO HAVE ONE . BE WILLING TO SHARE WHAT YOU LEARN BE WILLING TO GIVE WHAT YOU RECEIVE AND YOUR WORLD WILL FLOURISH JUST AS A WILD FLOWER SEED RECEIVES FROM THE HEAVENS AND BEGINS TO GROW IN TIME WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING OR EVEN WATCHING FOR NOR EXPECTING IT BURST THROUGH THE SOIL OF THE EARTH AND LITTLE BY LITTLE IT GROWS EACH DAY AND THEN ONE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE IT IS NOTICED SOME SAY IT’S A WEED SOME SAY IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL IT STILL IS WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO BE UNKNOWINGLY UNDERGROUND IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME . YOU TOO ARE A SEED UNDERGROUND THAT NO ONE KNOWS EVEN EXIST UNTIL THEY PERFECT TIME ,THOUGH THE FLOODS CAME AND THE SUN SCORCHED THE GROUND ABOVE YOU WERE ALWAYS STILL GROWING ONE DAY AT A TIME .. I HOPE AND PRAY MY ANALOGY HELPED SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SEE THE LIGHT AND HELPED BECOME AND ACCEPT YOURSELF AS THE GIFT. FOR I AM WILLING TO PUT THIS OUT TO THE BIG VAST WORLD OF UNKNOWING HAVING PURE AND SIMPLE HOPE AND FAITH OF IT IS WHAT IT IS . I JUST HAD TO SHARE ! LOVE ALWAYS TAMMY WHITAKER LIVINGSTON